All that I am, I owe to him

A famous Jewish story is that of Rabbi Akiva, an ignorant shepherd who marries Rachel, the daughter of a rich man.  The father cuts her off and they are penniless.  Rachel has only one request for Akiva, to go learn Torah.  Akiva seems water dripping on a rock, and notices there is an indent from the water.  While one drop of water cannot change a rock, constant perseverance can cause even the most fluid of substances to  make an impression on the rocks hard surface.  He decides to go learn at a Yeshiva.

After 12 years, he returns home and hears his wife talking with someone about him.  The other person urges her to get a divorce, since Akiva must not be coming back.  Rachel replies, if my husband came home today, I would tell him to go back and learn for another 12 years.  Akiva, being a wise man, turned around and went right back to his yeshiva.

Twenty four years after originally leaving home he returns as a great Torah scholar with 24 thousand students.  his wife, dressed in rags tries to see him, but his students only see a poor old woman, and push her away.  Akiva stops them and says "All that I am, I owe to this woman."

Now, let me preface this by saying I am, in no way, comparing myself to the great Rabbi Akiva.  He is beyond compare.  There is though, one way in which we are similar, supportive and understanding spouses who allow us the room to grow.

I was raised in a Conservative home, where Jewish pride was important, but Jewish scholarship was not as vital as the more secular subjects.  I knew my traditional bible stories, the basics of the holidays and kosher, love of Israel, etc.  It was a very good and well rounded Conservative upbringing.

Over time though, I found I wanted more.  First, it was weekly learning with my friend  Rochel Leah Nekritz through Partners in Torah. She really helped me to explore the whys and hows of Judaism.  I took a year of classes through the Melton program, but a few weeks into the second year I found I was strangely tired every night.  Nine months later, Netanel was born.

I continued to learn with Rochel Leah, but it was not until I took a job with the state that I found another inspiration.  Every day on my walk, I saw a woman on the concourse who had a little stand set up to sell things.  Whenever she didn't have a customer, she was reading the Quaran.  I envied her and wished I could do the same thing with Torah.  Then it struck me that I could.

Suddenly I was devoting a huge amount of time to learning.  I was reading the weekly  Torah portion, reading the prophets and the writings, as well as continuing with Rochel Leah and attending a monthly womens learning-not to mention any odd event or class that was held locally that I would rush to, leaving Ra'anan home with Netanel.

During all of this, Ra'anan encouraged me, would answer my questions, get me any text I needed, guide me when I stumbled and encourage me when I became disheartened.  H never asked me to spend less time learning and more time on other things.  If there was a class we were both interested in, he insisted I have the first chance to go.

So now, as I begin to hopefully take the next step in my Jewish learning and begin learning Mishnah I want the world to know-

Every word Torah I have read, I dedicate to him.
Every question answered, I thank him.
Every theory I came up with, belongs to him.
Every moment I spent learning Torah should be in his merit.
All that I am, I owe to him.

I love you Ra'anan.


RMS